Snap! Radio ads that suck

I don’t know what happened, but I got really angry at this stupid Yahoo! search radio ad yesterday. It’s been playing for months, but it feels like years. Some idiot who’s researching a book on snapping. Snapping. You know, the thing you do with fingers. It’s snapping, guy, get over yourself. He tries to make it all interesting by talking about some school in Pennsylvania back in the 1800s who kept boys and girls apart so they communicated via snapping. First of all, how lame were these kids that they came up with snapping as their secret language? “Forsooth, Mirabelle,” (because you know they were all talking like the Amish–in the 1800s this was as hot as hip hop) young Jeremiah would say, “Methinks mine snapping fingers willst communicate to thy ears how bootylicious thine ankle-length black skirt is today.” And then Mirabelle would start snapping to some other guy, because Mirabelle was a slut. Not the best secret language around when it involves sudden, sharp, loud noises everywhere.

Second, how retarded were these school officials that they keep boys and girls apart but then all this snapping starts up and they’re just standing around looking stupid trying to get all the girls to cover up their bare calves? Stupid school, stupid ban, stupider solution.

But beyond this supposed school that makes snapping interesting, and back to the issue at hand, how frigging lame is it to be writing about snapping? It’s snapping!!! Just hearing about it makes me think about that Stallone movie Over the Top. You get caught up in it, then two hours later you realize you just watched an entire movie about arm wrestling. The same thing happened to me after I realized I’ve been listening to this same stupid radio ad for months about snapping. Snapping. It’s just so stupid, so assinine, so lame. I don’t know why it suddenly got me pissed, but it did.

I guess something just snapped.

Early review: Freakonomics

Normally I don’t do early reviews of books, preferring to wait until I’m done to give a final ruling. Mostly because the ending can be crucial to fiction, rendering the entire story up to that point useless or brilliant. But since my current reading is trending towards the non-SF, and especially with this title, I feel okay saying that Freakonomics is tracking towards an A.

The book is outstanding in how it shows the creative usage of data. The authors are a cutting edge economist and a professional writer to explain it all, and they effectively combine their talents to show not only why, for example, public school teachers in Chicago would cheat, but also how you can catch them. It’s the same approach that shows how realtors really do give themselves better deals when they’re selling their own homes as opposed to yours, and how the radio show Superman helped undermine the KKK. But the creative application of looking for data in unusual places–like the corporate structure of a crack-dealing street gang–is what makes this book stand out. It’s incredibly approachable, lacking in a lot of advanced math or even a wealth of numbers, but the conclusions are equally shocking and enlightening.

It’s also not without controversy, especially the essay focusing on legalized abortion and its effect on the crime rate (or some small throwaways like how car seats for small children aren’t effective for the reasons you think they are), but as long as you approach it with an open mind (even the author admits this isn’t conclusive, merely suggestive) then every page is fascinating. It also helps you realize that there are a million ways to look at a problem if you’re just willing to be creative.

Carnivale cancelled

Not to say I told you so, but I told you so.

The Black Magician Trilogy

Overall Grade: B+

The Magician’s Guild: A-
The Novice: B
The High Lord: B-

It’s funny, I guess, even though the vast majority of what I read is science fiction the first two book entries on this blog are for straight fiction and fantasy. Rest assured this will change.

I picked up the first book of this trilogy when I was in London back in December. I saw the series in a number of bookstores, and similar to my thoughts on The Shadow of the Wind, I figured if it was in so many stores it must be at least decent. I also figured if I liked the first one, the other two would be available in the states. (They were, but it took some doing on eBay because the new versions were being published this summer and I couldn’t find the old versions locally.)

I delayed reading the first book, but was pleasantly surprised when I found myself liking it. As I said, I’m not a fantasy fan–especially high fantasy with dragons and swords and such. This is a bit more subdued, taking place in a world akin to our own Renaissance, but with the addition of magicians. And even the magicians have limits, both in terms of their ability and power. This makes them fairly prestigious, so when a common girl shows rare magical ability there’s expected chaos as the upper class wonders what to do about it. This political intrigue gives the first book a bit of an edge that other high fantasy lacks.

Sadly, the first book is the best, as the author introduces a story arc near the end of the first book that attempts to be an interesting mix of international politics and magic, complete with ambassadors and rogue sorcerers and the like. I give kudos to the author, Trudi Canavan, for trying to introduce more real world drama into a fantasy environment. Her use of a female main character allows her to explore angles that aren’t otherwise available–like how a young woman reacts to a man who’s fallen in love with her when she doesn’t feel the same. She also explores otherwise unused topics in fantasy, like the political aspects mentioned before, but also branching out into edgier subjects like homosexuality and relationships between students and teachers.

However, it’s very apparent that the author figured out near the end of the first book that she wanted to keep going. Instead of wrapping up and coming back if she wanted, she tried to integrate the first book into a bigger picture. The end result is that the most interesting parts of the first book are completely abandoned to the larger story of the second two books which just aren’t as interesting. Overall, it’s better than average for high fantasy, but would have been much better as a distinct first book and then a subsequent series.

TiVos

The only thing better than a 140-hour TiVo? A free 140-hour TiVo.

(Note: The link isn’t for a free TiVo. But you should get it anyway.)

The Shadow of the Wind

Grade: A+ with a bullet

It’s fitting that the first book review I’m doing on this blog is for The Shadow of the Wind, because it is the best book I have read in nearly a decade. And outside of science fiction, which is 90% of what I read, this is the best book I’ve ever read. An amazing book.

To try to explain the story doesn’t do this book justice. On the surface, the book is about the son of a bookseller living in post-WWII Barcelona who discovers the last copy of a book by an unknown author. He falls in love with the book, tries to learn more about the author and is drawn in to the mystery of the author’s life as his own life begins to the author’s. On the story front, it’s a bit melodramatic, and the book knows this, points it out occasionally, and revels in it.

But underneath the surface, this book is about books–the love of books, reading, stories, and everything that goes along with it. There’s no surprise that this book became a hit in the UK simply through word of mouth, and I hope it has a long history here in the US doing the same. I’ve already passed it on to my wife, and I’ll try to pass it on to as many other people as I can. This is a book for everyone who has ever forced themselves to stay awake in order to read a novel they’ve become engrossed in, or who has ever gotten mad at other people for bothering them just when they were reading the exciting part.

Besides the story, the book is written incredibly well. Disgustingly well, I would say. Perhaps the author (who wrote the original in Spanish) lucked out with a superb translator, but I think he’s just really that good. The tone and language rivals the best of Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, and the world of mid-20th Century Barcelona is both foreign and approachable for US audiences. Do yourself a favor and read this book, then pass it on to a few dozen friends.

Friday

Friday, May 6, 2005, was just about the best day of my life. And it has nothing to do with the poker game where I cleaned up despite having drunk way too much. Just a great, great day.

Mr. 3000

Grade: A-

This is your typical sports drama that focuses on a cocky individual. Meaning he has to be brought back down to size, then he rises up to regain his former glory, helping to improve his own character and those around him along the way. He meets with one or two minor obstacles, reclaims a past love, and eventually reclaims his rightful place amongst the sport elite.

The only thing that makes this movie not typical is Bernie Mac, who is absolutely perfect for this role. He has just the right amount of cockiness and humor to make you care enough to first see this guy get his come-uppance, than cheer for him to get it all back. I can’t think of many actors who can pull this off, but Mac is one of them right now.

Wimbledon

Grade: D+

Saw this on the plane flight back from California. The first 40 minutes anyway, as the DVD player died since I forgot to plug it in the night before. And I keep forgetting to bring the airplane adaptor my wife so graciously bought for me two years ago. Personally, I think it’s a miracle I remember to bring both the DVD player and DVDs to watch on said player. But she strives for perfection, so there you go.

Wimbledon is your run of the mill bad romantic comedy. By bad I mean unoriginal, although not totally uninspired. The biggest problem is that for a romantic comedy to succeed, something has to keep the two people apart. One’s a high powered businessman, the other’s a hooker (Pretty Woman). One is the most famous movie star in the world, the other is a nobody bookstore owner (Notting Hill). One owns a major discount bookseller, the other owns a small indie bookstore around the corner (You’ve Got Mail). And so on.

In Wimbledon, the thing keeping the two main characters apart is…well, she says go away to him once but then she says she didn’t mean it. Or something like that. There really aren’t any barriers to these two getting together that aren’t resolved in a single scene from the problem first appearing. It doesn’t make much sense as a romantic comedy.

But it must be a romantic comedy, because it really fails as a character piece about this guy who’s always been mediocre at tennis and has a really good run at his last tournament. Sometimes we’re in his head, sometimes we aren’t. And his best friend and practice partner is from Germany, yet doesn’t speak German (or even English with a German accent). Except for a few cool camera angles where we follow the tennis ball, this would be the most bland sports drama yet.

Also, when is the world going to realize that Kirsten Dunst can’t act? Aren’t there enough partial nude shots for someone to compile a full frontal nudie pic of her, thereby eliminating any need for her to appear in any movies ever again? Please let it be so.